Another Unofficial Committee

Our latest hobby is to speak with eachother in Bihari or Bhojpuri. Some of my friends have started creating songs in Bhojpuri. It goes like this:
Aawa aawa, Panwa Kawa…

The song Zombie (by The Cranberries) has been really remade into a bhojpuri/bihari classic.
Jombie jombie,
Saare bolo jombie,
Jeb me ka hai, jombie
Mooh me ka hai, jombie
Jor se bolo, jombie…
and it goes on.

In hostel 6 (where I live) there are 10 students from UIET 1st year in the third floor of second block. Each of us has been assigned a name (the same trend follows as I mentioned in one of my earlier post) and the conversation goes on and on in Bihari. Myself Kisan, and my friends Makhan, Lallan, Yasodhan, Veerappan, Bhawra, Lakhan, Gajodhar, Babban, Vishram(He is a member of The Polar Bear Association. Perpetually hibernates and usually wakes up just after lunch-time. Always short in attendance). So nowadays our conversation begins with “Arre Lallanwa ka kar rahe ho” or “ Arre Yasodhan tum!! Idhar kaise?” and ends with a “Accha Ram Ram”.

Two of my friends, both room-mates sharing a common balcony with my room, had their birthday in the month of April. Both their birthdays were celebrated in a very different manner. First up was Varun, tall and handsome and pretty much physically dominant. Last few months he has had real fun giving some of his finest blows on our backs. Now it was our time to revenge all those blows, all at one time. Just two days before Varun’s birthday I formulated an informal committee among my friends. “The Birthday Boy Torture Committee”, as I call it.

Its mission is simply to organize the party…. and organize it BIG time. Everyone was informed, and everything was planned. Friends from other hostels came right on time, just minutes before the clock was about to strike 12. Varun obviously knew that he will be beaten really hard. So he had a mutual agreement with his room-mate and both of them locked themselves inside their room. Obviously his room-mate agreed as his birthday was about to come pretty soon. But no one knew how violent we could be. Just minutes before time, his girlfriend called him to wish him on his birthday.

As soon as it was time we warned him to disconnect the call and open the door.. but he took too long. Both the doors of his room (the front door and the balcony door) were kicked real hard until the balcony door broke open. Varun was dragged out and was beaten like a criminal (as if he had touched a girl in the middle of Kolkata). About 20 others trying to kick his a** as hard as they can. He got a beating of a lifetime and at the end of it all swore not to lay a hand on us ever again.

In between all this Parveen Mangla (better known as ‘Happy’) decided to have fun and narrated one of the famous Hindi movie line which has been repeated over and over again in the last decade…”Isse haath lagane se pehle mere laash se hokar guzarna padega”. No probs he was dragged in and given a severe short beating that he would never forget. The beating was followed by cutting the cake, cold drinks and beer. Trust me, everyone had fun and I am sure Varun also enjoyed himself… although the after effects was not too good. A day after, the results for the best performers in the ‘Beating Arena’ was declared.

Finally after the door has broken…. This is how it stands now….

The broken door.
She hides it from any unexpected raid.

Through the hole….

Next up was his room-mate Saurab. A topper, real good in studies. His birthday was just atwo days before the IIT JEE. Since he was appearing for the exam we decided not to harm his studies. The committee passed on the word to all the friends about its plan. Everyone pretended that he would be beaten very hard (for no reason at all). Saurab was really prepared for it.

About fifteen minutes before he dressed up in full sleeves and shoes, ready to take on all of us. But we had a different idea in our mind. We picked him up and carried him all the way to the ground floor and just dropped him there. Now Saurab was very happy that he was not beaten at all…
He called home and told everyone that nothing happened to him and there was no end to his happiness.

On Sunday night (after the IIT JEE) one of the most unexpected things happened to him. Chandigarh is obviously getting warmer. Now to beat the heat we all recommended him to get off his shirt and wear light clothing. He was really tired after the examination so he accepted our suggestion and went off to sleep wearing only his vest and a light pyjama.
When he woke up next it was just midnight and about 10-15 of his friends had lifted him in the air and were giving him real hard kicks up his butts. He was picked up right in the middle of his sleep, so even before he could realize anything he had a red butt and a sore back….. and it ended with similar cutting of the cake and other stuff. As expected in the result of the beating arena I was among the top three performers…and that is a warning for me as I am up NEXT…

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